I just can't stand it. staying at home. i need to leave the house. its driving me nuts. thinking bout her. im not thinking straight. im not focused. my head its filled with her. everytime i think about her my heart aches. knowing she's with Ben now. Its the biggest mistake i could have ever done. this shall be the last time. i shall not repeat the mistake again. i dont want this to affect our relationship. im seriously in love with her. i really want her to be by my side all day everyday. i dont find it boring with her. except when she's having her period. and how does she feel about going out with him? does she actually think about our relatinship? she only know this guy for a few days and poof! they're on a date. with me being so STUPID! allowing her to go when i can just be firm with her. but that is not how things should be. i trust her. i truly do. but i just cant accept the fact that she actually wanna go out with him. did she think about me? you might think im jumping to conclusion. but i dont think so. RAH!!! im really stressed up. nothing is cheering me up. i think i just got to tell her straight about wad i feel and tell her to cut down on contacting him. or maybe im just to boring for her? wad is it that he have that i don? education? you cant blame me. i admit im not that smart ass. but still i know wad i wanna do in life. i've got eveything all planned out. he is undergoing his degree. so wad! i can do that in a few years time. but wad am i supposed to do. to make him stop contacting her? confront him up straight? which i don think she would like. and is not very nice to do it behind her back. i definately gotta find away. i need advices! ppl help me. ARGH! damn i hate myself for being such an idiot. screw me!