Friday, May 22, 2009

When i was called crazy.

I was in my own world when i was playing with them. I felt as thou im like you communicating to them in your own lingo. I felt a sudden click when i started fiddling with them. They brought me to your world. Smth that i once could not understand. I just felt so sad that i had no one else to talk too other than them. Its like, the world ard me just stop revolving. It just stood still.

My back was facing you, while you indulge in your own world just like i did. A sudden drop of tear just rolled down my cheek. A sudden breakdown for all the events that had happened. I wish you knew. I wish...

I couldn't seem to let go of it. The betrayal. I didn't even see it coming. I was naive. Yes. But all i could do was just watch it pass by me. Trying to keep my "cool". I couldn't speak up. For i know it will be a never ending talk. So i decided to keep my mouth shut.

I couldn't think of any other reasons to console myself other den you just being young and wanting to explore. Seeing things in different light. Well...i've learnt. And slowly letting it go. It aint easy. But im trying too.

Every morning. I wake up. And first thing i'll do is to see whether i have any text from you. But sadly no. I cant blame you coz i don't do it myself. But i have my reasons. And no im not avoiding. Trust me. That would be the last thing i would wanna do. But its really really hard to see things as how it is right now.

So near yet so far. I don't know what else to say you. I've lost touch. I've lost myself. Well you might or might not understand what im going thru at this point of time. But whatever it is. I wish things could be like how it used to be. But i doubt it would ever happen. Its like wishing for the sky to drop. Which will never happen till doomsday.

Well. Im not here trying to bring you down or to pick up a fight. Its smth that i wanna share my feelings. Since i've never had a chance to share it with you personally. This is the only space i have. I hope you understand. My life still gotta go on. Harsh i must say.

Sorry for being all emotional. Pain is just weakness leaving my body. It's just me and i think you know that. And one more thing. I didnt change. Just adapting to changes ard me.

So till then. Enjoy your trip. God bless.

Azmi - Out!