She wants it.

2010-08-05T11:05:00.002+08:00

I'm back! After much hibernating. God knows how long I've been away. Haha. Well anyway I'm kinda rusty with this blogging stuff. Give me some time to get my writing skills back aye.. Cheers!

2009-11-25T16:08:00.004+08:00

It'll stay on...

I bow down to you,

for i 'll never be better than him just as yet.

I'll raise the white flag and take my leave now.

But hear me out.

I'll be back. Mark my words.

Till then, Azmi - Out!

2009-11-16T21:05:00.004+08:00

The clouds that blocks out the light.

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself?

If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox.

One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.

Till then, Azmi - Out!

2009-11-13T16:41:00.002+08:00

Responsibilities

Something you guys should ponder on.

A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how".

Till then, Azmi - Out!

2009-09-20T05:53:00.004+08:00

Purity

Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being "drawn toward."

Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal and mutually beneficial relation with one's friends and enemies.

Love creates righteousness, or justice, here on earth. To make love is to make justice. As advocates and activists for justice know, loving involves struggle, resistance, risk.

I think also that sexual lovers and good friends know that the most compelling relationships demand hard work, patience, and a willingness to endure tensions and anxiety in creating mutually empowering bonds.

For this reason loving involves commitment. We are not automatic lovers of self, others, world, or God. Love does not just happen.

We are not love machines, puppets on the strings of a deity called "love."Love is a choice. Not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile.

Love is a conversion to humanity. A willingness to participate with others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives.

Love is the choice to experience life as a member of the human family, a partner in the dance of life, rather than as an alien in the world or as a deity above the world, aloof and apart from human flesh.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.I should. I would and i must prevail. For i've been longing to get it.

Till then.

Azmi - Out!

2009-09-11T16:00:00.006+08:00

IN NEED OF A HALO

Lately i've been hard to reach.

I've been too long on my own.

Everybody has a private world,

Where they can be alone.

Are you calling me to get through.

Are you trying to reach out for me?

Cause i'm trying.

I'm just so fucking depressed

That i just can't seemed to get out of this.

If i could just get over this hump.

But i need something to pull me out of this slump.

I took my bruises, took my lumps.

Fell down and i got right back up.

But i need the spark to get psyched up.

I don't know how, why or when.

I'm in this position i'm in.

I'm starting to feel distant again.

But i just can't admit or come to grip

With the fact that i may be done with it.

I need a new outlet.

I know some shits are hard to swallow

And i can't just sit back and wallow,

In my own sorrow.

But i know one fact.

That i'm one tough act to follow.

Here today, gone tomorrow.

But you have to walk a thousand mile.

Try my shoes just to see,

What it's like to be me.

And i'll be you. Let's trade shoes.

Just to see. What it's like to be me.

Go inside each others mind.

Just to see what we find.

Look at shit through each others eyes.

I think i've lost my sense of humor.

Everything is so tense and gloom.

Till then when i find a new purpose.

Straighten out my thoughts.

And find a new light.

I will be back.

Azmi - Out!

2009-09-06T15:48:00.004+08:00

Insecure?

Security is mostly a superstition.

It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

Till then, Azmi - Out!

2009-08-24T22:21:00.003+08:00

Running in Circles

I love my past.

I love my present.

I'm not ashamed of what i've had.

And i'm not sad because i have it no longer.

There are as many nights as days,

and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course.

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness.

And the word "happy" would lose it's meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

Something that i usually ponder on when i'm alone.

No, i'm not emotional.

It's just experience that i've gone through.

Something for me to share my thoughts.

Well that's about it for now.

Till then, Azmi - Out!

2009-08-23T18:04:00.004+08:00

Titleless

Over the years I have developed a picture of what a human being living humanely is like.

She is a person who understand, values and develops her body, finding it beautiful and useful;

A person who is real and is willing to take risks, to be creative, to manifest competence, to change when the situation calls for it, and to find ways to accommodate to what is new and different, keeping that part of the old that is still useful and discarding what is not.

Till then, Azmi - Out!

2009-08-04T02:17:00.003+08:00

Learning to love

My mama told me that i have learn to love myself more.
And that no one else with love me more than i do.
And she said, Boy i don't want you to be disappointed.
But that is how love works.
Before you wanna share your love. Learn to love yourself.

I disagree with her. Went my own ways.
And yes. I did got hurt. BAD!!True enough. I should have listened.

I went back to my mum. And said thank you mum. Now i know what it feels like.
Till then. Azmi - Out!

2009-07-09T23:21:00.003+08:00

Surrending to silence

Its been awfully quiet these past few days.

The songs, the faces, the pictures used to be so familiar.

Somehow everything seems so foreign now.

Confused? Lost?

How can i be lost, if i've got nowhere to go.

How can i be lost, in remembrance i relive.

These days drift on inside a fog.

It's thick and suffocating.

This seeking life outside its hell.

Inside intoxicating.

I ran aground, like myself.

Water much to shallow.

Slipping fast down with the ship.

Fading in the shadows.

Now a castaway.

Blame all gone, gone away.

Forgive me. Azmi - Out!

2009-07-06T03:13:00.004+08:00

Too many, too little.
Indifference of the different.
Imperfections of the perfects.
The lies in the truth.
The ugly in beauty.

Rah! Bittersweet memories.

Till then, Azmi - Out!

2009-07-05T03:48:00.006+08:00

Pictures that filled my days. Unglam it maybe But i love it =))

Till then, Azmi - Out!

2009-07-05T02:09:00.004+08:00

Predicament

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.

Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and

like books written in a foreign language.
Do not now look for the answers.

They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them.

It is a question of experiencing everything.
At present you need to live the question.

Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it,

find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.

As the bus passed, cars honked,
bats flying around,
couples smooching at the void deck.

Well i was bored, kinda missed the bus.
Some random thoughts while walking home.

Till then, Azmi - Out!

2009-07-03T01:49:00.000+08:00

In need of a motivation.

Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.

Till then. Azmi - Out!

2009-06-30T01:10:00.004+08:00

THE CALL TO A HIGHER CALLING

Once again, another day just passed by.

Time really flies when you are really busy.

Trainings, trainings and more trainings.

Damn. This is so gd. I just signed up for the national squad.

I'm really hoping that with current training programme i set for myself,

is sufficient enough for me to qualify.

Well the trial aint that easy. But i still gotta do my best.

It aint impossible. I've seen my juniors there.

And i don't see why i couldn't be part of it.

So wish me luck people.

And too my friends. Sorry i can't meet up that often nowadays.

Not that i don't want too. It's either i'm busy, or just too tired.

I hope you guys do understand. =))

Don't worry you're not forgotten peeps.

When i really have the time we'll catch up yeah?

Promise. =D So till then peeps.

Azmi - Out!

2009-06-29T01:20:00.003+08:00

Envision

Listen to the exhortation of the dawn!
Look to this day.
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the
Verities and realities of your existence.
The bliss of growth, the glory of action,
The splendor of beauty;
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well therefore to this day!
Such is the salutation of the dawn!

Till then. Azmi - Out!

2009-06-19T05:50:00.001+08:00

When the phone rings...

Is it so small a thing
To have enjoy'd the sun,
To have lived light in the spring,
To have loved, to have thought, to have done...

Till the ring ends...

Azmi- Out!

2009-06-19T04:21:00.004+08:00

Live is a quest and love a quarrel..

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself?

If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox.

So till then.

Azmi - Out!

2009-06-17T00:01:00.003+08:00

If I had my life to live over, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax; I'd limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances.
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely hour after hour,
day after day. Oh, I had my moments, and if I had to do it over again,
I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else.

Just moments, one after the other, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.
I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a first aid kit, a bottle of water, a raincoat, and a book. If I had it to do over again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over again, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dance; I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.

Azmi - Out!

2009-06-12T22:24:00.006+08:00

Three passions have governed my life:

1. The longings for love,.

2. The search for knowledge.

3. And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen.
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision.
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of [people].
I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart.
Of children in famine, of victims tortured.
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, And I too suffer.

This has been my life; I found it worth living.

Azmi - Out!

2009-05-22T10:33:00.005+08:00

I put my hands together and thousand apologies.

The confrontational talk late last night was good.

A sense of relieve for me. I've been longing for this talk.

But the lack of courage stopped me from doing so.

I must admit. I was a coward.

The fear of being rejected is overwhelming for me.

But all in all. I must say, or be thankful too you,

for bringing up the topic. Once again. I thank you.

You know who you are. =)

Azmi - Out!

2009-05-22T00:45:00.005+08:00

When i was called crazy.

I was in my own world when i was playing with them. I felt as thou im like you communicating to them in your own lingo. I felt a sudden click when i started fiddling with them. They brought me to your world. Smth that i once could not understand. I just felt so sad that i had no one else to talk too other than them. Its like, the world ard me just stop revolving. It just stood still.

My back was facing you, while you indulge in your own world just like i did. A sudden drop of tear just rolled down my cheek. A sudden breakdown for all the events that had happened. I wish you knew. I wish...

I couldn't seem to let go of it. The betrayal. I didn't even see it coming. I was naive. Yes. But all i could do was just watch it pass by me. Trying to keep my "cool". I couldn't speak up. For i know it will be a never ending talk. So i decided to keep my mouth shut.

I couldn't think of any other reasons to console myself other den you just being young and wanting to explore. Seeing things in different light. Well...i've learnt. And slowly letting it go. It aint easy. But im trying too.

Every morning. I wake up. And first thing i'll do is to see whether i have any text from you. But sadly no. I cant blame you coz i don't do it myself. But i have my reasons. And no im not avoiding. Trust me. That would be the last thing i would wanna do. But its really really hard to see things as how it is right now.

So near yet so far. I don't know what else to say you. I've lost touch. I've lost myself. Well you might or might not understand what im going thru at this point of time. But whatever it is. I wish things could be like how it used to be. But i doubt it would ever happen. Its like wishing for the sky to drop. Which will never happen till doomsday.

Well. Im not here trying to bring you down or to pick up a fight. Its smth that i wanna share my feelings. Since i've never had a chance to share it with you personally. This is the only space i have. I hope you understand. My life still gotta go on. Harsh i must say.

Sorry for being all emotional. Pain is just weakness leaving my body. It's just me and i think you know that. And one more thing. I didnt change. Just adapting to changes ard me.

So till then. Enjoy your trip. God bless.

Azmi - Out!

2009-05-16T02:30:00.003+08:00

Forgive my sins.

Hello World,
Hope you're listening,
Forgive me for i'm young
For speaking out of turn

There's someone i've been missing
I think that they could be.
The better half of me.
They're in their own place trying to make it right.

But i'm tired of justifying.
So i'll say you'll come home.
For i've been waiting for you for so long.
And right now there's a war between the vanities.

But all i see is just you and me.
And to fight for you is all i've ever known.
I'll get lost in the beauty in all that i ever see.

The world ain't as half as bad as they paint it to be. If all the sons, if all the daughters stop to take in. Well hopefully the hate subsides and then the love can begin. It might start now. Well maybe i'm just dreaming.

Everything i can't be.
Is everything you should be.
And that's why i need you here.
So hear this now.

Azmi - Out!

2009-05-13T19:18:00.002+08:00

Living on the edge

SICK OF YOU!

Azmi - Out!

2009-05-12T18:10:00.007+08:00

Guerilla

Haha. Am getting on your nerves already or you just getting warmed up? Aint it obvious? I don't think many of you understand what is actually going on at this point of time. People its time to catch some balls! You'll never survive this. I swear. I pray and make sure you'll fall to your grave. And when you get it. You'll be resting in peace. :)

Azmi - Out!

2009-05-11T23:58:00.006+08:00

I keep my friends close. But i keep my enemies closer.

I really wonder sometime how do ppl actually keep long distance relationship. Like the amount of trust that they have for one another is really remarkable. Something that is worth respecting. Well for what i've heard and seen. Most of it are just pure bull crap. Its either they're galvanting with someone else. Or they're fucking you from the back. Unknowingly. So you see. No matter how much you trust a person. At the end of the day its all betrayed. One way or another. And the saying goes "What happened overseas, stays oversea."

I've trusted and have been betrayed before. I'm sure many of you out there have been thru that situation before. Well i don't wanna go thru the details. It's heart breaking. So yeah. Ladies and gents please treasure the trust that the love one offer or its just a matter of time before you to get....
Well thats it for now.
So till then peeps.

Azmi - Out!

2009-05-09T17:57:00.002+08:00

Sunset

Just like the sun. When it finish its course and sets below the horizon,

it leaves a brilliant and memorable afterglow.

Its return is always desired.

Azmi - Out!

2009-05-08T10:24:00.002+08:00

Visual Basic

Currently in class now. Just got from break. Had the usual stuff. Well wasn't really satisfied with things. Everything seems dull to me. Even the weather. When unhappiness sets in, everything is god damn shitty.
I just want to vent my anger, my frustration. Somebody. Please.

2009-05-08T07:18:00.003+08:00

Disturbia

Am currently not at the state of mind now. Mentally and emotionally unsound. A sudden state whereby i don't wanna be in right now. I just feel fuck tup. With the emotional upset and the negativity that runs with it. I need to distress. I really need too.

I need a shoulder to lean on. I need pour out everything that is in me. And i mean every fucking thing. And i know its gonna be you. For you don't care not one single bit. Whatever la.

"No one is so brave that he is not disturbed by sometyhing unexpected." - Julius Caesar (100-44 B.C)

2009-05-08T00:38:00.002+08:00

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2009-05-07T18:36:00.005+08:00

Music of the night.

Am currently on my bed. Taking a short break from a long day of non-stop sketchings and eye straining dimensions. Well school has been good for me. With new friends, new topics new this and that. Busy with the non-stop cca i'm in. From dragon boat to outdoor adventure to student council and now waiting to find time to join teakwando.

Looking at the ever so packed schedule i have. Im pushing myself to the limit. Eliminating the free time that i once had. Not that i don't like having free time. But when i'm free. Subconsciously my mind would stray and ponder on unnecessary stuff that would just clog up my mind and staring into space for no obvious reason which i really hate.

Well i've finally found something i really love to do. And that is reading. Well i'm no bookworm. It's just that reading is another way to relief myself from the unwishful thoughts. Well i guess i've rest enough for now. Back to my book! And here's the quote of the day.

"Everyone wants something without having any idea how to obtain it, and the really intriguing aspect is that nobody quite knows how to achieve what he desires. But because i know what i want and the others are capable, i am completely prepared" - Prince Klemens von Metternich (1773-1859)
So till then peeps.

Azmi - Out!

2009-05-05T00:11:00.001+08:00

I'm utterly and totally disgusted with myself.

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-30T17:34:00.001+08:00

Dum dum dee dee.....

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-29T00:30:00.002+08:00

Still as confused as ever.

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-23T19:13:00.002+08:00

The light i see shine that night.

How could he know
This new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?

Set sail to sea
But pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure

Was he the one causing pain
With his careless dreaming?
Been afraid
Always afraid
Of the things he's feeling

He could just be gone
He would just sail on
He'll just sail on

How can I be lost,
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?

How can I be lost?
In remembrance I relive
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

These days drift on
Inside a fog
It's thick and suffocating

His sinking life
Outside it's hell
Inside, intoxication

He's run aground
Like his life
Water much too shallow

Slipping fast
Down with his ship
Fading in the shadows

Now a castaway
They've all gone away
They've gone away

How can I be lost
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?

How can I be lost?
In remembrance I relive
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-15T00:56:00.004+08:00

Amidst the cloud, the moon shines.

I've found the one.

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-13T19:02:00.002+08:00

JOSEY (",)

How d y'all? Hope everyone is doing good. Guess what? Today is my first day of school!! Haha. Been awhile since i don on the Uniform. haha. MEANING, STUDENT PRICE for public transport!! haha. Awesome rite? Yeah balls. But oh well. the distance to school is a killer man. But no worries. The license is underway and soon i'll be having my own ride. Cool shit! I don't why im talking like this. But oh well, heck lah. So till then peeps!

Azmi - Out! =D

2009-04-12T01:42:00.002+08:00

Bang Bang!

Waddup waddup ppl!!! Hope you guys are doing great! Im just popping. Pretty much nth to do at the moment so yeah. Till then peeps. *Peace* (",)

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-10T18:32:00.004+08:00

Shattered Pieces

Inside my sleeve,
I pull out my heart,
handing it to you, and said
"careful it's fragile, and easily falls apart."

Extending your arms, you take the heart in your tender warm hands.
It falls into a million shattered pieces - on the floor it lands.

All you did was to see me bend down and pick up the pieces.
Sorrow and sadness in your eyes.

Apologies are not enough.

Looking at you with tears in my eyes,
You ask me not to pick up the pieces of a heart that has fallen apart.

I am the one who needs to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart
one by one, piece by piece.

I need to put it together again, some how. some way.

Each piece of my heart has a memory so true.
Each piece of my heart has part of you.

You are the one who is leaving to start a new lease on life
with someone who is a thousand miles away.
I'll just be here on my knees picking up the pieces of a
heart that feels like it's being pierced with a knife.

All my tears won't keep you near
All my tears won't mend what's not here.
Again I look at you with a whisper in my voice,

The only way my heart will mend and finally be complete,
is if you and I can come together without being discreet.

You see, what we have here and today, helps me face theworld,
with a love for you that gives a glow -b ut now, my darling, you made a choice.
My heart is on this floor, shattered and broke.
With each piece I pick up - I need to learn to let go.

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-10T02:12:00.006+08:00

i'm really very emotionally stressed up at this point of time. I got nowhere to seek comfort. Once i know where to look for. Now i don't. Im really turning into a girl. Nothing but a real pussy. As im typing this, tears just roll down my cheeks. I really can't stop. I am right. I am really very lost now. Please, i really need help. please. somebody. please. i'm begging. i need some comfort. i need a hug. i need a shoulder to lean on. i'm totally left with no more emotions. no more frustration. no more anger. just real sadness. i don wanna go thru this alone. waelwijdwaiojdoawijdowaidjaoijwdoiajdoiajwdoiajdoaiwjdoawjodajdpapowijap
wdjaidjapdwadjwapdwajpdpajdpwpdjwpidjwpojdwpoajdoawijdoiajoijdoawid
jowaidjwijjndjncsoejfsj. i just lost myself.

2009-04-08T16:53:00.005+08:00

DECIPHER

As the title says. I'm still in the midst of figuring what's wrong with me. Even though it's actually quite clear. I know what's the main issue. And it's nothing more but me, myself. Not you, not him, not her, not they. It's my sub-consicious mind who can't seem to stop and dwell in the current situation. Easy as it may seems to others. But its hard for one to focus and rectify it since i'm the affected one. Mabel once asked me this question. What do i actually live for? What was my meaning of life before all this? I kept quiet and started pondering. Till today, the question still lingers in my head. Then Farhan came along and told me this. What i don't know, kills. Which i think it's true. Maybe that is one of reason why i'm feeling such. I have to give it up. It's not me to give up without a fight. But at the end of the day i'm still fighting a losing battle. But it's alrite, not today, not this time round. So till then.

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-08T00:53:00.004+08:00

Reverie

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-06T17:00:00.003+08:00

Winds of change

I swore I knew the melody. That I heard you singing. And when you smiled. You made me feel like I could sing along . But then you went and changed the words. Now my heart is empty. I'm only left with used-to-be. And once upon a song. The sky has lost it's color. The sun has turned to grey. At least that's how i feel when your away. I never knew this day would come. I never thought that i would lose you. Happiness was just the exterior. The day when you left me all alone for someone else. The world came tumbling down. I had no one to turned too. And now thanks to you. I'm losing myself.

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-06T00:15:00.003+08:00

DISTORTED

I wouldn't lie that the thought that i once had is actually making it's come back. It is really driving me up the wall. I'm slowly becoming unsound. Mentally disturbed. I need to see a psychiatrist. I'm sorry mum, there is just so many things going ard me at this point of time. Give me time. Hopefully i'll recover.

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-04T06:19:00.004+08:00

Bewildering Moments

WOOHOO!!! Another night with no sleep again. Hahah. The biological clock is really going crazy. It's 0620hrs now. And i just got home. Cool or what?! And no i didnt club. When out with Rich, Sue and OMG!! Hafis, Freaking 3years man since i last saw him. haha. Oh no, thats like not the craziest part yet, im going hiking with edwin in 20mins time. We're gonna do this crazy thing later on, Bashing thru some unknown zone. Along lower pierce. Appearantly it's some SAF ground. Praying hard that we dont get caught. haha. And yeah. That's like the morning activity. Followed by abseiling later on in the afternoon with rich at some de-commed railway tracks. And later after that it will be movie! haha. yes AGAIN!!!!!! hahah. Crazy rite? lol. yeah balls. oh wait! im still not done yet. Meeting farhan, ernie and khai for dinner, followed by my place again, to perfect the baking for the "in-laws" haha. yeah. Khai's dad's b'day. Ernie is damn sweet lah. haha. Oh yeah! Anybody interested to head to sentosa on sunday? beep me aite. It's been awhile and i really need a gd TANN! I look like a fag now. hah. So that's all for now folks. So stay tuned for the next update!! Toodles!

Azmi - Out!

2009-04-01T19:06:00.004+08:00

Breathe

Hello world. I'm at a lost of words right now. I can't seem to express myself freely at this very moment. I'm just a little to caught up with things, but there are tell tale signs that its slowly depreciating. Which is good i feel. Slowly and calmly, i've learnt to take in deeper breathe, it's slowly fading. Fading from the mind and soul. The heart still pounds hard. But it's not longer racing. It at the right pace. What i need now is a real good sleep. So till then,

Azmi - Out!

2009-03-31T14:15:00.006+08:00

Smoke Screen

So often people say they found their lover in their friend. I just have to wonder if they've found a means to fit their end. I thought I knew you for so long, but now I've come to see that this man is a stranger, and you don't remember me. For the first time in my life I wanted someone I could keep to treasure me both heart and soul, to hold me in my sleep. When I saw you I was overjoyed, my search at last concluded, who knew that I would come to find that I was just deluded? Because as we grew together something still kept us apart, I have your body and your mind, but I'll never have your heart. And I still wish that we could have that true love and forever, but reality stole my happy ending, leaving me with never. And if you asked, what would I say? Would I dare to throw it all away? Would yes be right? Or is it no? But we never ask, so on we go. And still I know that in the end, you're not my lover but my friend. This is the truth that I despise. When I suddenly realize. We're not in love.

Azmi - out!

2009-03-30T15:12:00.005+08:00

OPERATION CODE NAME: BRAVO DELTA

I've decided. I've got this really huge plan coming up. And NO! It's no talk shop. I made this promise and im gonna make it happen. It will take alot of time. But it will be all worth it. I've got everything set and good to go. The date is marked and counting down. So here goes nothing. For the better or worse. We shall see when the day comes. Alright people, wait for my GO!

Till then. Azmi - Out!

2009-03-28T18:12:00.005+08:00

THE WAY OF THE BUDDHA

One has to learn to let go. In order to be happy.

For it will come again. For the better.

One has to learn to not to hate. But to forgive.

To err is human. To forgive, divine.

Azmi - Out.

2009-03-27T04:12:00.002+08:00

Pictures don't lie

It's 4am now. I was browsing thru some photos and came across a photo which i can clearly say, pictures don't lie. Whatever happened that day i wouldn't know. I foolishly believed every single word said. I mean what's the point of lying? You've already done enough damage. Why continue doing it? I doubt you actually understand. It's very saddening. I'm lost for words now. Goodbye love.

Azmi - Out!

2009-03-25T11:35:00.002+08:00

UNFAIR

There is really something wrong with this world. This is really unfair. I know nothing is fair. But this is really too much. Why is it that you can't accept my results? Is it really that bad?! Its freaking 3.2!! I know its not a perfect score but still. FUCK! You really don't know what is fucking means to me.

Why is it that people of lower score can get in and i don't? I've done whatever necessary to get into the school. I've complete what most guys hate. And i foolishly applied for 3 times in a row. Thinking that i stand a better chance that i've done the 2 bloody years. FUCK! FUCK ANND NOTHING ELSE BUT FUCK! This is pure nonsense. Nothing but bullshit!

Azmi fucking out! God Damn you!

2009-03-23T22:45:00.005+08:00

ABSENT MINDED

I fail to see what is around me. Failing to see what is actually worth it. The time and effort. All has gone to waste. Nothing has been appreciated.
I was just to caught up with it. People around me realise it.
Advice after advice. I failed to understand.

But not anymore. This time round, the picture seems so much clearer. After clearing my doubts with a few people. I'm finally set to take up the task and carry on with it. I've been travelling on this road too long. And finally i found my way back home. The old me is dead and gone. And no. I did not change.

Till then,

Azmi - Out!

2009-03-20T15:57:00.005+08:00

THE GREAT ESCAPE

Hello peeps. Im back from Pahang. And let me tell you, the trip was a blast. From the participants to the facilitators and not forgetting the non-stop adventurous actitvites. Your heart pumps faster and harder at every corner of the 4WD ride. The race up the mountains was the ultimate ride ever. Not knowing wad to expect at the next turn or wad's the obstacle up ahead of you. Everything was just fabulous. And guess wad? i dont think you would believe me. We ate durians that cost it cost us a bomb!! Haha. Well, its not thos ordinary durians. IT'S FREAKING D24. So you can imagine how costly it is. How much, its RM$2660. Yeah! That was how expensive it was.

Well on a lighter note. The trip served it's purpose for me. Away from the main land and all the hustle and bustle back home. Well frankly for the first time in my life. I felt a lil emotional when i left home on tues morning. Saying a gd bye to my mum was like me, being sent to iraq and not knowing whether im coming back home. Yeah that was i went thru. Its this feel that makes you wanna come back home and see them.

As the sunset and putting a closure to my day. I still manage to find a lil peace and quite time for myself. Sitting on the bench just outside of the house with my little note book on hand, filling up the empty pages with my reflections and relinquishing myself of this distraught mind of mine. I've set new meaning and motivations to my life. Putting my past experience to good use. Feeding myself with the most motivational and positive thoughts. I will be better and stronger in every aspect of my life. I've set the record straight and will take control of my life now. Nothing is gonna stop me now.

I am the master of my life. And the master of my enemy. I will. Before i god i swear this. I will fire myself through, for i am the savior of my life. I will fight till there is no more enemy. But peace. Amin. Till then. The only easy day was yesterday. Hooyah!

My quote of the day.

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth. - Mahatma Gandhi

Azmi - Out!

2009-03-12T12:03:00.002+08:00

HELLO WORLD!! I woke up to this very beautiful morning looking at straight at my ceiling and said today will be a great day for me and i will not let anyone or anything to come in my way. Haha. I just feel great la. I dunno why either. But oh well. Im at amk mac now. Just waiting for work to start. Haha and thanks to this wonderful phone of joyce's i wont be bored. Haha. If i can find a hotspot that is haha. So till then you guys have a great day. Cheerios! Azmi - Out!

2009-03-11T22:38:00.004+08:00

I was just browsing thru some of my old photos. I really missed all those time i spent you guys. Well here are just some of the many photos. Enjoy =)

ITE DAYS

Rocky!

Presenting the Yut.

AND ME

My 20th b'day with the 50th.

Me the trying to act sissy.

XL, Grace and Me

CY and Me

Look at YB. GIRL POWER

The tummy of "Wealth" haha

Ah Fu and Me.

The Surprise Dinner for ME!

The crazy ride!

YES THE FREAK SHOW.

Yeah i know wad's going thru your head.
But hey i miss those times alrite.

Yes. You guessed it. ZOUKOUT '08
Zirca.

Yayaya. Another one miss.

2009-03-11T17:26:00.002+08:00

I had this really weird dream last night. I was in the middle of a war. During the WWII. The invasion of Normandy or otherwise known as "D-Day". Don't ask me how it got into my dreams. I was fighting along the side the British and France forces. The dream was so real that i could feel the impact of the artillery fire power. And the sound of bullets passing thru my ears. Its crazy i tell you. You hear people shouting out for medics, screaming in pain. Even now, as i'm telling you this i hear people shouting ''GRENADE!!!" It was a hell of a dream. I've never imagined myself being a war. Even so i wanna try what it is like. People call me a war junkie eventhough i wasn't in the miltary. I've always wanted to try being in there. Understanding what it is like. Have a taste of it on my own. Some guys are just so afraid of serving in the miltary. Doing AWOL and all. But seriously. Its the country that you lived in and you wanna protect it at all cost. Well, i hope to live that dream of mine someday. But now, its back to reality. I gotta get my myself a proper qualifications if i wanna be in there. So till my next weird dream. Till then, Azmi - Out!

2009-03-09T16:30:00.002+08:00

I don't know how to make lots of money.

I got debts that I'm trying to pay.

I can't buy you nice things, like big diamond rings.

But that don't mean much anyway.

I can't give you the house you've been dreaming.

If I could I would build it alone I'd be out there all day, just hammering away.

Make us a place of our own.

I don't know that I'd make a good soldier.

I don't believe in being violent and cruel I don't know how to fight, but I'll draw blood tonight.

If somebody tries hurting you.

I don't know how to make lots of money.

I don't know all the right things to do.

I can't say where we'll go, but the one thing I know.

Is how to be a good man to you.

Until I die that's what I'll do.

I will write you a song.

That's how you'll know that my love is still strong.

I will write you a song and you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without you

2009-03-08T13:06:00.002+08:00

Is it so hard so keep others updated? Like where, wad, and so on so forth. But i guess it is for some. Not really sure why. You know sometimes you'll just be hanging ard doing nth, starring blankly into space wandering, waiting for smth to happen or to see whether will you see in appearing somewhere in your mobile. But nope. Whenever it rings. It isn't wad you expect. Never the one you wanted to see. Worse still, smth else happened. Have you felt like that before? Yeah i'm sure you had. It's pretty shitty yeah. And i realise its of no use. Why wait? Since they couldn't be bothered. Why should i. They're out there enjoying their activities enjoying their time. I lost it. And will never regain that back. Oh well. I'll see you in hell.

Azmi - Out!

2009-03-08T01:29:00.002+08:00

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy course; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat." THEODORE ROOSEVELT (Paris Sorbonne,1910)

2009-02-15T12:48:00.004+08:00

I'll sing it one last time for you. Then we really have to go. You've been the only thing that's right. In all I've done. And I can barely look at you. But every single time I do I know we'll make it anywhere. Away from here. To think I might not see those eyes. Makes it so hard not to cry. And as we say our long goodbye. I nearly do. Light up, light up. As if you have a choice. Even if you cannot hear my voice. I'll be right beside you dear. Louder louder, and we'll run for our lives. I can hardly speak I understand. Why you can't raise your voice to say.

2009-02-02T22:51:00.003+08:00

I'm too attached to the things around me. My mistake. I should learn to let go. Slowly. I blame no one, but me, myself. Naive i must say. Tell tale signs are obvious. But i still didnt buy that. I don't know what im actually doing. Im screwed. Till then, Azmi - Out.

2009-01-31T19:18:00.003+08:00

As i look in between the spaces of my fingers. Its just spaces and nothing else. What i once thought i could fill it with the one whom i thought i could share my all. Someone i could hold close to me. But needless to say its just spaces. I have nothing more to say or to add. Im not asking for anything or do i want anything. Im just letting it be. where it belongs, space. Azmi - Out!

2009-01-26T12:19:00.002+08:00

The only word that describe my inner most feelings. FUCK! Period!

2009-01-05T22:05:00.000+08:00

Hibernate

2008-12-25T14:12:00.003+08:00

Should i or should i not

The question still stands. Should i go with it knowing what the outcome would be and left stranded standing not knowing what to do next , or should i just leave it as it is and let nature take its course. Should i ask for advice?? Do i need help? hmm...

I know there is smth else going on. both of your argue as if you are still together. I dont think you actually know how i feel for you or should i say you don't know me anymore.

2008-12-11T04:20:00.002+08:00

TIME CHECK! ITS FREAKING 0420hrs!!! AND ITS TIME FOR ME TO HIT THE SACK! ADIOS AMIGOS!! TILL THEN AZMI - OUT!

2008-12-11T01:38:00.003+08:00

IDLE

Time check! 0140hrs. Its nearing 2am and i'm still sitting in front of my comp listening to Kenny G. Well, i can't really sleep though. There are just too many things on my mind. Haa. I sound like some old guy who has a lot to think about. Well not really. Maybe because i'm just thinking about my future plans. I just hate it when you plan smth and it don't goes your way. lol. So every planning you do there must always be a backup plan. Just in case. Like the 48 laws of power says "No days unalert" so maybe thats the reason to why i'm still up. Yeah yeah. i know i got to rest and all. But i just can't help it. So yeah. I wanna get things done right. So planning is very impt!!

Yup yup. But oh well. When the mind is more settled and satisfied. I'll shall hit the bed! Till then, when everything is really settled. I shall update again. Gd nite peeps! And here's a lil smth for you guys! Azmi out!

2008-12-08T00:36:00.003+08:00

07/12/2008

Evening ppl. How are you guys? Hope everyone is doing well. Hmm. i'm just feeling a little bored. thats all. Hmm well i don't actually have a real topic to talk abt.

I'm just feeling dead. haha yeah. looking for something to excite me and pump up the blood. I want to feel the rush again running through my veins. Yeah the adrenalin. Somthing like that. If you people have anything interesting that will hype me up do tag me yeah! Till then Azmi out!

2008-12-06T12:12:00.002+08:00

ALL HOPE IS GONE

The night was terrbile. Filled with saddness and sorrow. I just couldn't help it. Tears just rolled down my cheek. Going through all the stuff i had from you. The cards, the words, the messages, the videos, the pictures and most importantly you. I'm truly sorry i didnt pick up your call. Not bcoz i was aslp. But i just didnt want to ans. I cant seem to let go of what i saw, what had happened. It's haunting me. Every single min, every single sec, even when i slp. I know im not the guy who you used to see in the past. I'm different. Behaving a little weird. I'm sure by now you've noticed. This is me. Love is my strength and also my weakness. The easiest way to break me down is to take my love away. As the title say, all hope is gone. And i'm lost for words right now. i've got nothing else so say. And the year is coming to an end. Still i wanna thank you once again. for you once brought light into my life. and if your reading this. I want you to know that i still love you! Till then, yours truly. Azmi - Out

2008-12-02T23:31:00.002+08:00

Breathing deeply, walking backwards.
Finding strength to call and ask her.
Rollercoaster, favorite ride.
Let me kiss you one last time.

Azmi -out!

2008-11-28T23:54:00.002+08:00

Hard Case To Crack

The title says it all. Day in day out. I've been thinking, and thinking deep. Colleagues pondered why am i stoning most of the time. Making mistakes here and there. Even the simplest of job i cant get it right. I'm not focus. Its happening AGAIN! The last time i felt like this was four years ago. I'm starting to have premature growing of grey hair. That just shows how bad things are for me. At this point of time. Emo you might say. Yeah thats the word to use. Emo. I just miss her. I simply do. I can say or do a million things. But nothing would change. Nothing. I guess its empty.

Till then Azmi- Out!

2008-11-27T23:31:00.003+08:00

FLASHBACKS

On the way home. I was smiling away. I'm not crazy or whatsoever. But a sudden flashback when i saw this couple. The guy piggyback his gf . I just felt kinda happy cause i manage to do that when i was still with her. But oh well. Till then.

Azmi - Out!

2008-11-25T23:37:00.003+08:00

Live life with arms wide open

I eradicate with a certain integrity of manifestation;
My allure is coaxing you to become a woman of elation.
This start of subdued anger and pathological euphoria's.
You're finding it increasingly difficult to still contempt.
The bloodlines of many a men are coming to an end;
You are unfortunately one of the liaison that pretends.
Unmerciful alliance between a treason so obscure.
My errors are your burdens and you live deterred.
Hollow minority's praying to some extent;
You never have gotten on your knees; You remain stiff.
Bliss is so far from you and you have no desire;
Pull from the bed of your hearts roots; Show them fire.
I ask you to give thought to surrendering your flaws;
You cannot be a god yourself and cannot have it all.
I struggle to find a way to show you the distortion;
Live your life with arms wide open; My love.

Till then. Azmi - Out!

Fade to black

2008-11-25T13:53:00.002+08:00

In office now. Yeah kinda sneak out. Having this sudden urge to use the comp. Oh well. things are really kinda fucktup now. Yeah late for work as usual. Oh well. thanks to all my sleepless nites. And yeah kinda got reprimanded by my superior (which my uncle) kinda warned me don be late for work and all and yadayada. Work up on the wrong side of bed this morning. so everything else ard me is really gloomy and all. Oh hell! Gotta get my ass off and start work. Till then.

Azmi - Out!

The Distance

2008-11-23T18:01:00.003+08:00

I've been feeling real moody lately.

The lack of motivations to carry on really kills me slowly.

Nothing inspires me anymore.

Nothing suprises me.

Nothing at all.

Everything else is just fading. Slowly.

Not sure whether it'll come back.

I've got to find a way out.

The year is coming to an end.

I do not wanna enter the new year feeling gloomy and unmotivated.

I need to start over again. I did it before. And i'll do it again.

Better, stronger and with more will power!

I shall, i will overcome this obstacle.

Till then. - Azmi out!

WELCOME

2008-11-21T00:59:00.002+08:00

Hello peeps! This blog has finally been revived! All thanks to my dearest JOYCE! She has put in a lot of effort to revive this for me. Thanks Babe! You've done a great job! Thanks a million!!! Anyway, till then.

Azmi out!

Going bonkers.

2007-12-22T17:09:00.000+08:00

I just can't stand it. staying at home. i need to leave the house. its driving me nuts. thinking bout her. im not thinking straight. im not focused. my head its filled with her. everytime i think about her my heart aches. knowing she's with Ben now. Its the biggest mistake i could have ever done. this shall be the last time. i shall not repeat the mistake again. i dont want this to affect our relationship. im seriously in love with her. i really want her to be by my side all day everyday. i dont find it boring with her. except when she's having her period. and how does she feel about going out with him? does she actually think about our relatinship? she only know this guy for a few days and poof! they're on a date. with me being so STUPID! allowing her to go when i can just be firm with her. but that is not how things should be. i trust her. i truly do. but i just cant accept the fact that she actually wanna go out with him. did she think about me? you might think im jumping to conclusion. but i dont think so. RAH!!! im really stressed up. nothing is cheering me up. i think i just got to tell her straight about wad i feel and tell her to cut down on contacting him. or maybe im just to boring for her? wad is it that he have that i don? education? you cant blame me. i admit im not that smart ass. but still i know wad i wanna do in life. i've got eveything all planned out. he is undergoing his degree. so wad! i can do that in a few years time. but wad am i supposed to do. to make him stop contacting her? confront him up straight? which i don think she would like. and is not very nice to do it behind her back. i definately gotta find away. i need advices! ppl help me. ARGH! damn i hate myself for being such an idiot. screw me!

Out.

2007-12-22T13:38:00.000+08:00

hey guys. back to update again. Its another dead day for me. rotting away. Friends are busy. Gf is out with Ben. Well i cant be so pessimistic right. gotta think positive maybe she's missing me? haha. hopefully she would that is. oh well. was msging her. n she's taking a while to reply. cant blame her guess she is busy. oh well baby. hope your having fun there. till den OUT!

learning to adapt.

2007-12-21T03:01:00.000+08:00

Sigh. things just got a lil bad. i think we started off on a wrong note when she got back from hong kong. maybe she is still pissed with me after that incident. anyway. was out with baby on the 20th. i applied for leave so i could spent the whole day with her. everything was ok and all. anyway. i would usually msg her in the morning. saying good morning and all. and usually she would reply in the same manner. but i things just doesn't seem right. when i recieved her msg.
something must be wrong somewhere. but i still don't where the problem is. and there's this new guy called Ben. who she just knew in hong kong. its very obvious. that he is going after my gf. Well im a guy. and all the other guys out there would definately agree with me. I mean it is wrong for another party to interfere in other ppl relationship. its not right. not gentlement. i don do it if i know a gal is attach. Have some basic respect for the guy. and if just wanna be friends don't send msges like "i wanna make you miss me more" it maybe in a joking manner but i cant accept that. seriously. How would you feel if some guy tell ur gf that how wuold you feel? maybe im just thinking to much. or maybe i expect to much from this relationship. but whatever it is i gotta give myself time to digest. oh well. shall see how things go. anyway she'll be meeting him on sat. i cant believe i actually let her go. call me dumb. but still i cant be to over protective with her. i gotta give her space. but im sure. when im with her. i wont be dating some other gals thats for sure. oh well till den. OUT

??

2007-12-19T03:55:00.000+08:00

Baby is back! Yeah. but boo for me. cause i kinda doze off. i swear i didnt hear my phone rang except for the msg tone. i really wanna talk to her on the phone. i stayed up all day. i just happen to doze off. i mean. im human too. y did she have to get so worked up? i was seriously very sorry. i didnt do it on purpose. i really wanna talk to her. y she couldnt understand. sigh. its of noe use saying all this stuff. she wouldnt be able to see this either. im seriously very disappointed. this wasn't how i picture it to be. =( nvm shall see whether is there any improvement tmr.

COME HOME

2007-12-17T01:51:00.000+08:00

Baby is coming home!!! yeah! im super excited. haha. cant wait to meet her! YES!!!! 2more days.

=)

2007-12-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

Recieved 2 pics from baby. sharing with me how wonderful her day was . 1 of her pic is damn funny lah. she took with Hitler. haha. oh well baby i miss you!!

HONG KONG!

2007-12-14T11:46:00.000+08:00

Baby is in hong kong already. Sigh. Well hope she enjoys here trip there.

Ice Ice Baby.

2007-12-12T01:52:00.000+08:00

Wee!! What a day today. I took leave today. so i could bring my sisters and baby out. Planned to go Escape Theme park. But we're afaid it might rain. so yeah. didn't wanna take the risk so we headed down to Kallang Leisure park instead. At least its sheltered and all. Anyway baby came over to my place first. When she reached i was still shaving my head. so yeah. haha. hmm. alrite cut the story short. Left the house about 12. so the kids were hungry. so went to KFC. And guess wad? We saw Daniel n his gf at KFC. haha. the best part was they were just sitting beside us. haha. and baby got all shy and all. haha. she looks damn cute when she gives the shy look. oh well. after the meal went to kallang straight. and yeah. after 20mins. we reached! Hmm. the place was very nice and all. went up straight to the ice skate ring. but it was booked till like 5. so we headed 1 level down. played a few rounds of bowling. It was their first time bowling. as in for both my sis that is. so yeah. anyway tought them to bowl. and they learnt very fast. Amalina was good. not bad for first timer. and Aqilah too. As for me i didnt bowl for a few years already. so kinda rusty. but to my suprise i've strike most of the time. lol. Damn cool can. haha. took picture and all. the time spent with my sis and baby there was really worth it. after a few rounds we got kinda tired . so we headed down to CoffeeBean to "Chill" haha. yeah. The place there was very nice. Cause its very new. and guess wad. We saw Adrian Pang. How cool can that be. haha. He was just hanging around outside. Yeah Spent some quality time there with sis n baby. and farhan called me up. asking where am i. so told him im at kallang and he wanted to tag along. cause he didnt get to ice skate on his birthday so yeah. Anyway we went up to the skating ring without farhan first. since he'll be late. so went in get our skates. Aqil was the first to enter to ring. to my suprise she was so confident of herself. n she didnt fall the moment she went into the ring. followed by amalina. thinking she could do like aqil. but she was already having difficulty standing still. haha. so yeah. anyway everything when well. accept had a hard time teach amal how to skate and yeah. alrite. after the whole skating thing. got a lil hungry. so went to eat at mac. after our meal we decided to head for home. so yeah. thats tha event for the day. anyway. baby is going to hong kong in 2 days time. im like freaking damn sad. oh well wad to do. hope she misses me when she's there. oh well till den OUT!

Bad?

2007-11-23T00:00:00.000+08:00

Baby came over to my place yesterday. Went to my sis school. Her PSLE result was out yesterday. Yeah. Overall she did quite ok. Which i think she can actually do better. Oh well. At least she got into the NA stream. yup. Anyway after that went back home slack for awhile before going to work. Yup. was kinda hungry so went to mac and had an early dinner before to going to work. Well reached mac. ate and stuff. Well the usual stuff we would always do eat and talk at the same time. Then this topic came about. We were talking about Ah-lians and all since the Mac there is always filled with people like them. So baby and i was happily talking and all until she just spoke like 1 for the fun of it. so yeah. And me always joking around. Said "Wah. Certified Ah-Lian" and that is when we started quarrelling and i swear it was only meant to be a joke.. Man i didnt noe she took it to heart. And yeah. She become all quite and stuff. And me being me again as usual. tried to cheer up. But it was useless. She just said are you done so i replied yup. and she just left. Man i just hate it when people just walk away from me just like that. Oh well, can't do much either cause shes my GF. so yeah. So walked to the bus top and all. She was still showing that pissed off look. And at that point of time i was still thinking wad the hell did i do wrong to trigger her off like that. Then the bus arrived. Boarded the bus. i didnt even look at her. which im in the wrong. i admit. People won't even know that we would know each other. cause we acted like total strangers. Through out the joruney we didn't even look at each other. not even a glance. Then we reached the bus stop where we're supposed to alight. I alighted first since im nearer to the door. And me. i just walked towards the train station without even turing back. So she got pissed off too. so she just walk off too. when i turned around to look for her. which was to late i know. she had already crossed to road. took my phone out and saw her msg. saying she would collect her stuff some other day from me. So i apologise to her. and her reply was. Ah lian to accept apologises. so i walked over to the interchange to look for her. and i was slow by a step. when i reached her bus just left. So went to work instead. so along the way i replied to her messages. saying sorry and all. but she wont accept. so after a few rounds of messaging. she finally cool down. and yeah . she told me she didnt like me calling her a lian when she wasn't 1. so yeah. and i apologise. over and over again. and yeah. kiss n make up. oh well learnt my lesson. anyway. being in a relationship aint easy. especially for a guy. you gotta learn how to swallow your own pride and bring down your ego if you really want it to last. Oh well thats all for today folks. till den OUT!

Update!

2007-11-21T01:00:00.000+08:00

HEy its been a long time since i updated. Oh well just to keep you guys updated. Everything is going on well with me and her. so yeah. Been out catching movies and all. So yeah. will update again aite.

Island Life

2007-11-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

Hey! Im back. Today was just a beautiful day. We went to SENTOSA! Yeah. Its been really long since i've been there. It was nice especially going there with your love 1. Sitting by the beach, enjoying the sea breeze. sharing everything under the coconut tree. Its just very nice. Anyway went to Palawan instead of Siloso yeah. As you know Siloso is always so pack and all. Anyway i really enjoyed my day there with her. Its nice being in love! Oh well Till den. OUT!

The Attachment

2007-11-07T00:00:00.000+08:00

WEE!!!! This is the best day of my life! Ladies and gentlement. Im FINALLY ATTACH to this beautiful lady! Tell who she is when the time is rite. WEE!! Oh man. I got nothing to else to say. All i can say im the happiest guy on earth. WEE! Well this is just the beginning of a new life.

Just another day.

2007-10-03T18:04:00.000+08:00

im back! alrite. more like just started. haha. oh well. anyway haven really blog. coz i don really know how to use this thing. call me dumb if you want too. so yeah. Oh well today is juz like any other normal day for me. Been slacking alot. more like most of tha time. Hmm clean my room, read tha papers. oh well. tha boring stuff. Oh yeah. fasting is abt to end soon. So yeah. cant wait for it to end. Haha. oh well. run out stuff to write abt. till den! OUT!

bored...

2006-01-26T13:18:00.000+08:00

hey peeps..sorry haven been updating..juz to bz..niwaes..starting to miss tha KC girls i took last week..niwaes..this haf haf been a rather boring week fer mi..except fer tha saturday..met shark n his buddy HAFIS..another hafis that is..i juz find it weird that most of tha Hafis i noe haf tha same personality..lol..coz u see..i was driving Jeremy's car..n told Shark to get in n lets go fer a spin..den i asked hafis along too..since he wanted to pee so badly..n there is no toilet n Tanjong Rhu..so i brought him to this dark spot..where he can pee with ease..n i told shark lets go..shall not wait fer him..n u noe wad..when he came back..he was so pissed..saying we bastard him..n he scolded Jeremy instead of mi..u see how fuck tup can he be..? well..immature lil kid..shant continue bout him..had a great nite at Tg Rhu..riding all tha 3bikes..it was reali reali REALI! fun..im telling u..tha best was still tha KTM..love it to tha core man..that will be my first bike when i get my license..n im serious..alritez..fun time was over..we checked tha time n it was bloody 7+in tha morn..from midnite..that juz shows how fast time passes when ur having fun..so we decide to haf breakfast at Kallang Mac..so i ask Richard to pillion mi..n u noe wad a total lost of power after i sat on tha bike not coz tha bike cant take both our wt..its juz that tha Carbuerator was flooded..coz father drop tha bike..so mi n rich had to push start tha bike..i was half dead by then..i was so bloody tiring..my muscle was tearing..u can feel man..serious..derrick n leon we're of gd help..they tried too..but they can remedy tha bike..in tha end they hafta call tha bike towing service..which course richard a BOMB! $60!!! can u imagine..it was onli towing u noe..not totalling up with tha maintanece fee..its gonna coz him more man..well..shall see how tha bike is after servicing..thats abt all folks..ciaox.!!

Rain rain go away

2006-01-10T07:52:00.000+08:00

Wad a rainy dae..nthx to blog abt..